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New Start

Last time I wrote, we were still in China. We had a big move to the USA and a lot as happened to our little family since then. Just flying across the Pacific ocean and arriving in Arizona has been a huge change we’ve all had to get used to.

The weather and climate is very different from China. Nowadays you sometimes say “Taiyang” or “Re” to your mommy because the sun is in your eyes or it’s hot. In China, we almost always travelled by taxi or subway, occasionally train. Nowadays we always get in the truck, and put you in the child seat. You never sat in a child seat before in China, though it may have been comfortable for you, that made me nervous because it was unsafe.

Since we left China, you’ve turned 2 years old! You enjoy going to the park and playing on the “jungle gyms” or children’s playground equipment. You love going up the ladders and sliding down. You like rolling a ball down the slide.  You like being on the swings, often we sing or count while you swing, and you learned to say “stop” when you want to get off. I am impressed by how you want to challenge yourself. For example, there was a high steep web-like ladder you had to climb to get to the top of the jungle gym. It was quite scary for a 2 year old, and even though you were crying because it was scary we couldn’t get you off of it because you were absolutely determined to go to the top. So step by step you did it and climbed over the rail above our heads. You’ve fallen off some of the ladders at the park a couple of times, though we catch you, but you still bump your head and get upset. That didn’t deter you from going back up the ladder later and fortunately  you learned to watch your step and hold the safety rails better. Its hard for me to watch sometimes because I’m scared for you, I want you to be safe and not get hurt, but I know you’ve got to try, you are really determined and can do it.

We go to the library and book stores sometimes. I like the library, all the free children’s books. Sometimes we borrow 10 or more at a time. Surprisingly, you most enjoy the science related books, specifically Volcanoes, Rocks, and Space. We read one book on Volcanoes and you were hooked. Now you already say words like “lava”, “magma”, “mantle”, “core”, “ash”, and “Volcano”. For words you don’t know or can’t pronounce, you have created your own word called “Dadu”. For example you will will say the names of the planets except Mercury and Jupiter, because you have a hard time saying them, so you call both of the “dadu”.

You really like to play with sand at the park. We got you some shovels and buckets and you will go and play with those for awhile. Grandma created a little sandbox for you to play in in the backyard. Grandma said as soon as you say it your smiling and giggling. You’re very friendly with the other kids at the park. You often say “hi” and smile. Sometimes other kids will come and talk or play with you too.

I find it amazing how much you like rocks. Lately we have gone to some local mountain parks and you will often pick up rocks and look at them. You are very curious about them. I’ll ask you what shape they are, or what color, or how they feel, but I don’t know how to classify them beyond sedimentary, igneous, and metamorphic. Hopefully, you will learn geology in the future and better understand.

I’ve tried to balance your activities. For better or worse, you really like the iPad. I find the iPad good for learning some things, but it seems to be quite addictive. Same with Youtube. I rather we read books together or go to the park to learn and explore.

We have fun painting and drawing sometimes. You like to paint…what else? Rocks! We’ve tried finger paints, face paint and water colors too. You use brushes as well. You enjoyed painting daddy much more than getting yourself painted.

You love the ABCs. We often sing the ABC song together. At two years and two months, you know all 26 letters, and can repeat them from heart. We spell may words together such as “mama”,”space”,”sun”,”car”, “cat”, “apple”.

We sing a song sometimes called “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed!” along with movements.

Last night was so cool. You pointed at yourself and said “happy”. We had learned the words happy and sad from a book a few days ago, but suddenly you just pointed to yourself and kept saying “happy”, “happy”, and smiling.

 

 

Almost 2!

You’ve almost memorized the whole alphabet! You know many of the capital and lower case letters. You recently memorized many colors, at least all the colors of the rainbow and black and white. You constantly point to things and tell me what color they are. Sometimes you can even link words like purple car or yellow sun. You know all the planets in the solar system, you recognize stars, galaxies, comets, even the Great Red Spot of Jupiter. You love to ride in your carriage. You have started saying your name when referring to yourself or something you want to do. You can pick food up and eat it yourself.

Take care of your body!

You are almost 2 years old! You now know about 10 colors, almost all the upper case letters of the alphabet, and you started stringing words together like red star, purple star, green star. You even understand some concepts like full and empty. We have a hard time keeping you from standing in your high chair, dangerous! And you like to throw things into the space between the sofa and computer, it’s like your personal toy and stuff zone. Twice I found my phone in there! Who put it there? Now if we are missing anything, we know where to look.

I hurt my back recently, then the pain went down my leg through the sciatic nerve. I was told not to lift you up or sit for long periods as it would aggravate the pain. So I have started some self-physical therapy like stretching. As your father, one thing I have learned is you must take care of your body, it’s really good if you can get in the habit of stretching and exercise. It will also help your state if mind and reduce the possibility of diseases.

Preparing to Go Home

Before I left for China 4 years ago, I remember telling my mother I was going to come back with a wife and child. Unbelievablely, that is coming true! Soon I will be bringing your mom and you back to the US with me. It’s been a long difficult four years in China, but I got what I wanted more than anything else in the world, you! Yes, there is absolutely nothing in this world that means more to me than you, my son. Since I became a man and began to recognize what’s important and meaningful to me, it was clear I wanted a son.

I always want to play and teach and learn and be together with you. I want to be your father and friend, to share life and joy together for as long as I live. I know you will grow up and start your own family and have children of your own, because it is wonderful. Sometimes I get caught up in the responsibilities of being a dad, sometimes I just want to sit and play with you too. I like to blow bubbles and make stuff out of Play-Doh too.

The past year was tough because I had a full time job that was in Pudong. But my goal upon arriving in the states is to work towards a building a small business that makes enough for our family to live comfortably, to work at projects that I enjoy, to play the sports that I love, and spend my free time playing and learning with you. I want to buy you telescopes and microscopes, science gear and books, lots of fun, interesting, powerful books that will enlighten you and enrich you. I want to take you out in the sunshine to play ball and out in the evening to gaze at the sunrise, the moon and a galaxy full of stars.

More than anything I want to be there for you and with you as you grow up. So that is what I will do. As always, I love you.

Smart Amazing Boy!

It’s amazing how fast you are learning and growing! You are about 21 months now, and not a little baby anymore, really like a little boy now. That baby look of not knowing where you are or what’s going on has completely changed to a understanding where you are and knowing what you are doing. You are assertive in what you want and want to do, and where you want to go.

You had a bit of diaper rash a few months back and that led us to start potty training and less use of diapers. At first you just peed and pooped whenever and wherever, but we told you to go to the bathroom and nudged you over to it. It only took about a week or so and you are now going to the bathroom everytime. You can even hold it till you get there which is another sign of growing up.

Another fun step was playing with the jigsaw puzzle. Months ago you simply threw the pieces around, yesterday we tried again and you helped put it together and we both had a lot of fun!
You especially liked it because it was a jigsaw puzzle of the Solar System, which you have learned.

We bought a fun game where you can catch wooden fish with magnets, and it’s amazing to see you concentrate handling the little fishing pole. It’s a new skill for you, but you really attacked it with confidence.

We lately have watched the new Cosmos TV show together. You have become a big fan. I can see you wave your arms around to signify the rings of Saturn or the moon orbiting the earth. You also get emotional like I do when you see comets impact with a planet or rockets going into space. You make little noises that show your were shocked, pleasantly surprised, get excited or curious about things you see.

Though I want you to read books rather than watch TV, Cosmos is such a good show that excites your interest in science, I felt its very worth watching. Matter of fact, I find it totally fascinating and the show has excited me to learn more about science myself. I hope they keep the show going.

I was talking with your mom about what we can do to give to the best life and chance of long survival in a world full of challenges, and I thought education and science were near the top of the list.

I feel your interest now in the planets and science will propel you to learn more and more and make it possible for a solid future for you.

The importance of good habits

There is a hole in the right pocket of my pants. If I put my phone or subway card in that pocket, they just slip through the hole and slide right down my leg. So why do I keep putting my phone and subway card in that pocket again and again? Moreover, why haven’t I gotten the pocket fixed?

My son, we are creatures of habit. As much as I tell myself every time I have to retrieve my phone or card from around my shoe not to put anything in that pocket, not more than an hour later I drop something into that pocket again, without even thinking I put stuff into that pocket, completely unconsciously!

That’s called a habit, you do things completely unconsciously. Habits are very powerful, once we start them, they are part of us and work almost on their own, but that frees our minds to do other things we deem more important to put in the forefront of our minds.

There is a power and danger there. If we create good habits, like looking both ways before we cross the street, that can save us even we are busily thinking of other things. The danger is we can also create bad habits, like interrupting people or worse, lying, cheating, abusing ourselves as a means of escapism. What’s even scarier is that bad habits like those could become unconscious reactions where you lose control from not being aware these are bad, they have become part of you.

First, get yourself into good habits. Be aware that you need to make good decisions about what you do so you don’t get into bad habits, find your moral compass. Pay attention to yourself, are there things you don’t like that are happening in your life possibly arising from your own habits?

You can change your habits, it’s not easy, and you may need a lot of reminders and patience and diligence, but you can change your habits, and in doing so change your life.

Fortunately your mom will mend my pocket tomorrow.

Why do people want to be independent?

I have a feeling you taught me something. Since you were born you’ve had a very strong independent streak, you’ve wanted to do things by yourself. You would fight us if we tried to feed you, and try so hard to use chopsticks or a fork or spoon to feed yourself. When it came to drawing, walking, playing with toys, the message was clear : you want to do it.

Sometimes, as you can imagine, learning can be slow, occasionally frustrating and messy business. But when you did it, when you were able to take food with a spoon or fork and put it in your mouth yourself, it was amazing and we cheered. You would smile and seem proud of yourself.

I also think, you may have known, deep down in your bones, maybe instinctively that you had to learn to do things yourself, always relying on others is not good if you are to ever become independent. Your grandmother Susan said you are trying so hard to be like mommy and daddy, you are trying to be able to do things on your own like us.

Lately, I’ve been trying to show you how we can work together as a team. You hold something and I hold something and we put it together. From experience I know you often will need help from others to accomplish some goals, so it’s good to learn to work together. But you also have to be strong and skilled enough to do your part, and I think wanting and learning to do things on your own will help you to be strong and skilled.

It’s awesome to see you becoming your own person.

Drugs are bad

From what I’ve seen in my lifetime, there is no doubt that drugs and alcohol are bad. Any chemical thing that causes you to artificially feel high, can be addictive, and is very bad for you. I’ve had friends go to jail and seen families destroyed because of drugs. They lose control of their own minds and will lie, steal or worse to satisfy their addiction to it. Also they forget or abuse their own friends or family for drugs or booze. Anyone who offers you or tries to get you to use any kind of drugs or use a substance way to get high, even something like sniffing markers, is not your friend and you should try to get far away from them.

I love you my son. A great thing I’ve learned in life is called a natural high. It’s the great feeling you get when you you’ve done positive things you want to do, and having fun in positive ways. For example, I was so happy and excited (of course a little nervous too as a new Daddy ) when you were born! I feel happy when we play together. I feel happy when my business succeeds, I feel happy when I win at racquetball, or do exercise. That is a natural high, not artificial. Those are the highs that make life a great experience and I hope you’ll always take good care of yourself.

I love you my son.

My wonderful little boy

Victor, you are no longer a baby, you a little boy now. Here are some of the exciting things you’ve done lately:

You say “Mar~” for Mars and “Ear~” for Earth, “Bow” for Rainbow, and “Bo~” for Boat, and “Ba” for Bubble, I just get so excited to hear your speaking English words. What is amazing is even though we are still in China now, and you hear a lot of Chinese, you are paying attention to your Dad and using the words the words I use. I makes me so so so proud.

Also, you are really interested in the planets and stars. We must have read those star and planet books a hundred times but you still are interested. When we go out at night, you don’t point at any buildings or signs, you usually just point up at the sky towards the moon or Jupiter. You recognize them in the sky! The other night we were in the bed and you yelled “Moo” for Moon and pointed out the window, and there it was, the moon. I was so amazed and excited. It just blew me away that you understand and even show me!

Also, its so exciting to see how persistent you are. We went to Gongqing National Woodland Park yesterday and we came across a big hill. I ran to the top and at first you were hesitant to go up. But I called you to come up and then came down to hold your hand and help you get to the top. Then you realized it was pretty fun going up the hill and you felt a sense of accomplishment when you got to the top. Immediately you went back down and tried to go back up again. By the 8th time, and no longer needing any help from me, you got to the top of the hill by yourself. I was behind you to make sure you didn’t have a big fall, but you did it on your own. And you knew it too, you had the sensation that you did it and accomplished it on your own and you really liked it. By that time the sun started to go down and we needed to head home, but you didn’t want to go and got upset. Honestly, I was so happy because you had a happy feeling of success and knew that was something you wanted to do again!